So I just finished an amazing, two and half hour game of chess with Jamie, and my brain is about fried, but I feel like there is a lot I want to talk about. Please bear with me and hopefully my thoughts will make some sense! I apologize in advance if I say something odd.. hehe! It's getting late!
First of all I would like to thank those of you that leave me such encouraging comments. It has definitely given me the motivation to continue to blog as often as I can! =)
On another note, I found out an extremely interesting fact about Haitian culture that could have gotten me in trouble had I not known about it!... I was speaking to a Haitian today (whose name I will undoubtedly butcher) who could speak English very well. We spoke of my home in Michigan, and the weather, as well as my love for snowboarding. He then pointed out my red bandana which I wear everyday while I work, in order to keep the sweat out of my eyes. He then explained to me that there is a Rap group in Haiti. And those who support that group wear red bandanas, while those who support a different Rap group wear black bandanas... He then laughed, as he continued to tell me that many gangs wear red or black bandanas. And to my complete ignorance, he explained that if you are in certain areas of Port Au Prince where there is an opposing gang to the red bandanas, that you could get beaten up.... Needless to say I think I may retire my faithful red sweatband.
I have spent a lot of time thinking lately about my future, and what I am doing here, and if this is what I want my life to be about. I have thought about how I feel extremely satisfied at the end of the day, knowing I have to some degree made a difference to something that actually mattered! I reflect on how I did not spend my day for myself. I did not waste my time seeking what would benefit me more, or what would make me more comfortable.. Then I think about how often my thoughts before arriving here were generally inward focused. Even when I DID do a favor for someone it was only because it would make them more happy towards ME! I did not see a favor for someone worth doing if it would never be noticed.. Oh how self centered my nature IS!... I can't say that I know for a fact that I will spend my whole life as a missionary in foreign countries. BUT! I do know that wherever I go, and whatever My Incredible Lord has me doing, I want to be a missionary in my heart and in my actions 24-7. I know that the ONLY way I will ever lead a satisfying life, is by living it for others.. The funny thing is that I have known that fact probably my whole life, but until you fully and completely give yourself over to an outward focused life, can you see why your life is so often unrewarding, mundane, and frustrating!.. I hope that concept made as much sense in writing as it did in my head. ;)
Lets change gears now... Literally! Larry took me out today to a road in town which doesn't get much traffic, and attempted to teach me how who drive his stick shift. It's harder then I thought it would be! But hopefully by the time I have to drive anywhere, ill have the hang of it.. As if worrying about the crazy traffic here wasn't enough!
Well, sleep is now fighting for my attention, so before I finish I want to thank you all once again for your continuous prayers! I believe God will take what we are doing here and use it in mighty ways to reach out to his children here in Haiti.
I hope God is as real and present in you guys as he is for me!
Lots of love.